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CAMBRIDGE EVENING NEWS APPEAL!!!
POOR OLD LADY GOES BALLISTIC, AS CYCLIST IS ATROCIOUS!!
Police are today appealing for anyone who witnessed a most disturbing incident in the quiet, leafy, picturesque lanes of Herts at around midday today.
A fine, upstanding member of the local community ( which is more than be can be said for her stalker), was traumatised at the gates of her quiet family home by what she described as 'the most terrorising moment of my life'.
Clearly emotional, Lady Snipcock Lykes was asked to desribe the intruder.
'Well, it was a truly sickening and frightful experience. One moment there I was trimming my bush, the next I was confronted by my worst nightmare!'
Unable to give an accurate description, she continued;
'He was clad in cheap- looking lycra, was wearing a mask and I could clearly see his helmet.
In addition to this, and even more perplexing, he had a small but offensive weapon in his hand!!'. she added.
'When he saw me he exclaimed 'Mama Mia! Che bella!' I think he meant me, not his weapon, and he was clearly flirting with me.' said the 97 year old Lady Lykes of The Cockwell Inn, Tillett, Herts.
Allegedly, there was another man 'with one of those strange Antipodean accents' indulging in a similar activity in the lane outside.
'They called him WheelSucker... 'at least I think it was 'wheel'. Worryingly, he had his weapon pointed menacingly at my sheep. I ask you!!'
'Anyone who can offer assistance or more information in the apprehension of these people, especially 'The Sucker', please leave your message or number here. Confidentiality,and discretion guaranteed. BAA!' added P.C Pugwash.
The search continues...
Police are today appealing for anyone who witnessed a most disturbing incident in the quiet, leafy, picturesque lanes of Herts at around midday today.
A fine, upstanding member of the local community ( which is more than be can be said for her stalker), was traumatised at the gates of her quiet family home by what she described as 'the most terrorising moment of my life'.
Clearly emotional, Lady Snipcock Lykes was asked to desribe the intruder.
'Well, it was a truly sickening and frightful experience. One moment there I was trimming my bush, the next I was confronted by my worst nightmare!'
Unable to give an accurate description, she continued;
'He was clad in cheap- looking lycra, was wearing a mask and I could clearly see his helmet.
In addition to this, and even more perplexing, he had a small but offensive weapon in his hand!!'. she added.
'When he saw me he exclaimed 'Mama Mia! Che bella!' I think he meant me, not his weapon, and he was clearly flirting with me.' said the 97 year old Lady Lykes of The Cockwell Inn, Tillett, Herts.
Allegedly, there was another man 'with one of those strange Antipodean accents' indulging in a similar activity in the lane outside.
'They called him WheelSucker... 'at least I think it was 'wheel'. Worryingly, he had his weapon pointed menacingly at my sheep. I ask you!!'
'Anyone who can offer assistance or more information in the apprehension of these people, especially 'The Sucker', please leave your message or number here. Confidentiality,and discretion guaranteed. BAA!' added P.C Pugwash.
The search continues...
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